Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Random Ramblings of The Disgruntled Kind

I'm  in a crabby mood...so what's new about that? I am always in a crabby mood!! I cannot even blame it on the wrong side of the bed because I always sleep on the same side and get out of that side too.  Then what?

May be because all of us are sick - nothing serious...just the razor blades inside your throat, runny nose all day and hacking cough in the middle of the night variety. Add to that, a few throw up bouts on the comforter by sonny boy and I-can't-talk-yet-so-I'll-cry-and-keep-you-up-all-night routine by bonny baby. Add to that, spouse is at a fancy conference in Las Vegas where he's chowing down delicately flaky and moist fillet of  halibut while my too tired to cook sorry bones are being fed 15 day old rice from some chinese take-out with frozen sambhar!! No, I'm not mad at spouse! Poor guy offered to abandon the conference and come back home to nurse us  and keeps logging into Skype three times a day and watches his babies with a forlorn look on his face from the other side of the computer!! Parenting is tough enough but single parenting is just way too tough!!!

I'm trying to read the not so latest Dan Brown potboiler - The Lost Symbol...it's kind of lame, actually!! It started slow and stayed slow for sooooo long that I almost stopped reading it.  Finally after 50 some chapters, it picked up but now I have already guessed the identity of the so called fearsome villain! *Yawn*

Quicksilver doesn't believe that all the pictures of Vidya Balan in ghastly outfits that she has posted in her blog are actually designed by Sabyasachi! I personally don't think Sabyasachi is a great designer, but a lot of women I know swear by him, so I'll keep my humble opinion to myself. Talking about designers, I just bought myself a Manish Malhotra knock-off saree. Now why the hell did I do that?? Where on earth am I going to wear that - considering that I'm on fall-out spree with friends!! I should have spend that money on a knock-off  Birkin  instead...since there's absolutely no effing way I can afford the original.

I forgot to thank Magpie for making me read Shutter Island many moons ago...that was one helluva book dude!! Anyway, so after sending an application to spouse three months ago, I was finally awarded with a   date afternoon couple of Sundays back. We went to watch Shutter Island. Of course the movie was great - aren't all Martin Scorsese (did I spell that right?) movies great, after all?  I mean who am I to criticize the great Mr Scorsese (I have a strange feeling that the spelling is not right...what the hell!!) and his movie making skills, right?? Is it okay to say that I was a little freaked out by all the imagery - spooky trees, ominous buildings, a creepy mental hospital for the criminally insane, angry-god weather, rat-filled caves and gruesome hallucinations??!! But I do have to say this, the man knows how to convert a book into a movie without killing it first.  Does anyone remember Age of Innocence - a Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Edith Wharton adapted into a touching movie by Mr Scorsese in 1993?

I haven't  reviewed a movie in a very, very long time. I miss it. How much I loved to shred those movies into pieces and fantasize that I'm doing the whole movie-watching mankind some kind of a favor. No, I don't do that any more. How sad, na? That's because I hardly ever watch any movie these days. As I mentioned earlier, that I have to apply in triplicate to spouse three months ahead of time in order to weasel out a movie-date. It's just too tedious. So, yes, I haven't yet seen Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, Alice In Wonderland and a host of other movies that has released since...like...summer of 2007!! I did catch a horrible excuse of raw-stock waste called 3 Idiots on DVD and had I caught it within the first week of it's release, I'd have loved to have shred that one. But by the time I watched it, it was already the highest grosser of the year...what's the point of hurting my arthritic fingers by typing up a review after that, you tell me?!

Talking about arthritis - I have a new malady...it's called Fibromyalgia. Nice name, innit? I like it...it's almost...pretty!  Of course it causes me a lot of pain and I have been asked to manage my stress...haha...what a joke!! If I manage to manage my stress, then I'll be so boring...probably even nice...and not  so disgruntled any more - and no one will read my blog!! OMG!!! Nah, too much at stake. I'll strive to remain what I am - high strung, paranoid, judgmental and acerbic. Bah humbug!!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Of Friends and True Feelings

After a long period of writer's block, posts are now coming out like a deluge.  Don't know if that is a good thing or not - but sometimes it does feel better when I get things out on this page - my refuge, my confession box, my cave...

An impertinent boy I know keeps talking about how I need to shaken up - like a martini...that will apparently cure all my inertia. What I haven't told him that I don't need shaking... I've been beaten up like eggs , time and again - what I started with and what I have now are so different in color and texture that I can barely recognize it myself!!

I am a little sick of Facebook - the novelty has worn off. Actually it wore off quite sometime back...now it's a habit, like brushing teeth twice a day! I'm not really interested in other people's lives.  In fact my lack of curiosity and apathy towards people posts, sometimes makes me wonder why I am still hanging out in the social networking quagmire! The friends that I had hoped to find has been found - communication channels have been reopened - old wounds have healed - tears wiped and snot dried...now what? My status updates are becoming more and more vapid, my albums show a picture perfect but completely bland suburban family on vacation...at parties - just looking at those pictures makes me want to throw up!!! Old class-mates who are now married, some with grown up kids are leaving suggestive comments on my profile pictures - I guess at my age I should be flattered by such attentions. My friend-list used to be pretty decent sized and made me feel all popular and wanted till I went on a ruthless spring cleaning and deleted half the lurkers and inert people who had nothing important or interesting to add to my life or to my wall for that matter.

Talking about friends, I have this friend - actually I have no idea why I call her my friend...in the last 10+ years that I have known her, she hasn't done anything remotely friendly. She owes me money, takes advantage of my generosity and decency all the time,  doesn't have any positive thing to say about anything or anybody, raises my blood-pressure and gets me agitated every time I speak to her...overall the most toxic person I have ever known. I cannot remember a single instance where she has helped me in my times of trouble or has lend a hand or shoulder when I needed a friend. If anything, she has tried to poison my mind against common friends and I'm pretty sure she has been bad-mouthing me to other people too. After all, those who gossip with you, will surely gossip about you too!! Anyway, so this person's husband had a ski accident last week and has torn multiple ligaments and is going to be out of commission for a while. That's really terrible! She's of course depressed and worked up.

I avoided calling the first few days because I knew they'll be overwhelmed by the sheer number of well-wishers dropping by and calling to check on them.  Finally when I called she ranted and riled about how horrible it has been with non-stop phone calls and deluge of visitors. Between doctors appointments and entertaining visitors she has absolutely no time to even collect her thoughts. I let her vent, as much as she wanted and offered her words of wisdom from my own experience in knee-surgery - what to expect and what not to do etc.  including the contact information of my surgeon.

Last night I met another couple for dinner.  Boy, news travels fast!! The first thing I hear from them is that  how I didn't offer any sympathy to this friend in this trying time and apparently how I told her that her husband being the unfit sloth that he is should have thought before going to the ski slope and if he has torn ligaments he totally deserved it! I was completely stunned and I still am. I have no reaction other than to feel sad and let down yet again by this woman. Unfortunately, I cannot block her out completely from social contact - at least till I get my money back...but whatever precarious thread this relationship was hanging on has now finally snapped.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


I have been extremely disturbed by the gross videos of Swami Nityananda Paramhansa with Tamil actress Ranjitha, that's doing it's rounds on the web. No, I don't have a problem that two consenting adults were engaging in a sexual act - he's a man, she's a woman - they can do what ever the hell they want to do in the  privacy of their bedroom. In fact, I find it very violating that someone taped their very private moments and handed it over to the media. Of course the whole aesthetics of the video is completely cringe-worthy...but  that's also not my problem. What I am getting really miffed about is how this so called god-man is justifying himself. Apparently he was sick and the starlet, a devotee was taking care of him - his body was unwell and his mind was in a trance and he wasn't even aware of what was going on around him. What a joke!!! He was just lying around on the bed watching TV and generally being served by this woman in more ways than one.

What is with these god-men???!!! Is there any one who's genuinely enlightened - spiritually or otherwise?  Why does all of them have to be crooks and liars?? Is that the pre-requisite of becoming a god-man??

Swami Nityananda has a temple in our neck of the woods. They do roaring business - the hundis are overflowing with donation from the rich desis. It's difficult to even find standing room during arathi time.  I go there from time to time - not because I particularly believe, but because it has become a habit to go to a temple during the kid's birthdays for a quick prayer and this particular temple happens to be the closest from home.

Last year, I was going through a rather low phase in my life. I was down - really down. And when you're feeling weak, you tend to seek divine intervention. So one morning I found myself in the temple. There weren't too many people there and after the usual routine of praying etc I got pulled into a conversation with the temple secretary. He began to educate me about the life and work of "Swamiji" and I was told how he from a very early age it was evident that he was the enlightened one and how he's a baal-brahmachaari, completely devoid of any worldly desires and entrapments. He was coming to Seattle for a two-day spiritual healing workshop I was told and the temple secretary almost convinced me to attend. He even promised me to get one on one time with Swamiji so that I can have my all my problems solved. For whatever reason I never managed to register for the workshop and the forms and a calender with Swamiji's mugshot on every page got buried under the mountain of papers on my desk.

A few weeks back, I was finally cleaning up my desk and found those forms and the calender. I recycled the forms along with all other junk mails and expired coupons and random papers that has been crowding my work space. But some how I couldn't get myself to recycle that calender. Somehow, it just didn't feel right. So I put it  back in the somewhat smaller "keep" pile.

Today, after the watching the vomit-inducing videos all I could think was how the temple secretary was selling the swamiji to me - enlightened spirit, devoid of worldly desires....my ass!!! Liars...all of them!!! I'm more angry at myself for even giving them the time and consideration in a moment of severe self-doubt  and low self-esteem!!

Swamiji's calender now rests in the recycle bin.